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Self-Sabotage, errors, mistakes, discretion, human relations, vicki hinze, writers library, authors, writers, novelists, creative writing, author/editor relations
Showing posts with label SELF-SABOTAGE. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SELF-SABOTAGE. Show all posts
Monday, June 15, 2009
Mistakes We Make: Part 7 of 13
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Self-Sabotage, errors, mistakes, discretion, human relations, vicki hinze, writers library, authors, writers, novelists, creative writing, author/editor relations
Thursday, April 05, 2007
FAILING YOUR WAY TO SUCCESS
"Fearlessness may be a gift but perhaps more precious is the courage acquired through endeavour, courage that comes from cultivating the habit of refusing to let fear dictate one's actions."
-- Aung San Suu Kyi
No less than three times in as many days have I had a writer tell me:
1. She was afraid to submit her work because as soon as she did, she’d read a group of things she’d done wrong and wish she hadn’t and she couldn’t be sure she was ready.
2. He hadn’t submitted his work because he didn’t think he could stand getting back a rejection.
3. She submitted her work and then contacted the individual and pulled the submission.
If as a writer, you’re waiting for a time to come when you don’t see changes you need to make or ones you wish you’d made AFTER the submission, consider your experience an oddity. Epiphanies have a way of sneaking in and zapping us after the fact. Recognize that it’s normal and happens more often than not. Note it and when the opportunity arises, edit and incorporate.
As a writer, you continually seek to grow and master your craft. Because you do, you will encounter this challenge--and if you aren’t, you’re either very, very lucky or you’re not studying craft and continuing to grow. Warning: that leads to stagnation, and stagnant things die!
I’ve been in this business nineteen years and I don’t think I’ve ever been sure a project was ready to submit. Yes, I know I love them. Yes, I do allow them to cool to make sure what I think is conveyed on the page is conveyed on the page. Yes, I do strive to submit only my best work. And I have enjoyed many bubbles in the gut that shout, “oh, this is strong. This really works.” But to feel that there is nothing--not one word--that could be changed to make the work stronger?
If I ever get there, believe me, I’ll be broadcasting it, so you’ll know. So far, this has escaped me. Which is one of the best reasons to solicit outside readers. It’s true that many projects are submitted too soon--before they’re polished and splendidly shine. By having a couple others read the work and getting their reactions, you will get a cross-section of responses.
Vary these readers. One who loves to read this type book. One who is familiar with the subject matter in the book. One who is sharp on writing craft and construction and novel structure and characterization and mechanics. Barter. I’ll read and comment if you’ll read and comment (with another writer).
On rejection. Understand that if you’re a writer, you will be rejected. Not you, the person. Your work. Accept it and then press on. I know only two writers who haven’t received--and I mean all during their career no matter how high up on the career ladder they’ve gotten--rejections. And both have multiple readings and edits before their work is ever submitted. I know no one who has penned the perfect book.
This is why we create and then edit and edit and edit. We’re striving for the best we’re capable of producing at the time. Then we have others read and we shove (or smother) our egos, hear and listen to what they have to say. What we agree best serves the story, we incorporate. Only what we agree best serves the story do we incorporate.
Often agents ask for revisions. Then editors suggest revisions. Then copyeditors ask for more. Often more than once!
So do strive for perfection, but don’t expect that your perfection is perfect. Others will see things you miss. Know things you don’t know. Catch mistakes that save the book, save your backside, and sometimes they’ll save your hair--spare you from pulling it out by the roots in frustration.
Develop rhino hide, understand that revision recommendations are given for a single purpose: to strengthen the book. Everyone involved in the process (and no one more than the author) wants the strongest book possible.
Rejection might not be about the work, but about what best sells to the readers. Marketability. List balance. Suitability. House focus and/or direction. A million other things. The point: it’s not about you. And it might not be about the work. It might be connected to strengthening the salability of the book.
Writers get rejections. That’s what happens when they submit, stretch and grow and experiment and make all manner of effort. This is not a bad thing and it rarely has spit to do with the author so it should never be taken personally.
There are times and situations in which a writer pulls a submission. Shoot, there are times when an author contracts a book and then buys the book back. But this isn’t something you want to do or something you do without considering all aspects of it and the consequences. Tread lightly.
Remember, first impressions are just that. One-shot deals. You don’t get a second chance. So if you must pull a submission, make sure it’s for an excellent reason and that you don’t make a habit of it. And be wary of the second-guessing trap. It’s easy to talk yourself into thinking something is awful and unfit--especially if it’s a purpose-driven novel. If you must do this, be extremely judicious. And it goes without saying to do all you can to make sure you’re ready to submit before you do so initially.
It takes courage to put yourself out there. If you do so with a realistic view on potential, then you’re in a far better position to cope with the results. Understand what rejection is and isn’t. Understand that continued grow nearly promises you’ll have post-submission epiphanies. And understand that the best way to avoid having to pull a submission is by doing the necessary work and expending the effort before submitting.
Blessings,
Vicki
©2007, Vicki Hinze
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Thursday, January 18, 2007
MISTAKES WE MAKE: PART 8
KNOWING WHAT WE NEED #1
We’re curious creatures. We listen to others and can tell them exactly what they need. We can watch world events, and we know what needs to be done. We can home in on what we’re told in even the most complicated of challenges and come up with solutions in a snap. And yet we often don’t give ourselves the focus we give those things to determine a very important thing that impacts us in every way on every level: what we need.
The result is that we become walking wounded. We hobble and limp through life never feeling quite content or fulfilled or (dare I say it) happy.
The thing is all of that and more is there for us. But we have to choose to embrace it. On the surface we want those things, and if someone asked, we’d say of course we do, and yet we don’t determine first, what is lacking or out of balance in our lives that prevents us from having those things and we don’t take action to fix it. Often we do plenty of complaining about what’s wrong, but we don’t define the source.
That’s a huge mistake that has far reaching consequences. Fortunately, it is one we can fix. We need only choose to and to determine what we need.
Well, duh, I hear you saying. If we knew how to determine it, we would. (See I have been here, too. :)) Here are a few givens to consider:
THINGS WE NEED
1. WE NEED A POSITIVE ENVIRONMENT.
There is no way to measure accurately all that is created from a positive or negative environment. It is safe to say that because of those silent triggers that set off other reactions in us, there will be a substantial impact on things we expect and on those we didn’t and really can’t expect until they happen.
What we can know definitively is that it’s hell being around negativity. Something always being wrong, nothing but doom and gloom can suck the life right out of you. How can you be excited or enthused, focusing on loving anything including your life and work if all you hear is negative comments?
Bringing this to a personal level, I once overheard a woman commenting to another at a wake, which in the south, is a time people come to the funeral home to pay their respects to the family and/or departed, before the actual funeral. Anyway, I was at this wake and I heard one woman tell another that she was sure the deceased willed himself to die to get away from his bitching wife.
I was twelve years old, and I’ve never forgotten it--and don’t nag my darling husband because of it! Often over the years, it has made me think, and whenever I encounter someone who is extremely negative I think of this. If I can help the person become more positive, I do. If not, I get away from that negative person and that situation.
Developing a “go down that road if you choose, but I’m not going with you” attitude is a healthy one. It’s difficult if not impossible to attract healthy, positive things when you’re in a negative environment.
Be selective about those with whom you associate. Friends and associates at work, all of those in your circle. Don’t feed your fears and doubts with negative thinking or actions. Things like jealousy, peer pressure, greed, the fear of there not being enough (there is always enough good for everyone; honest!)--will drag you down. Will suck you in until your view is as contaminated and polluted as that of those in your environment.
Does that mean you play Pollyanna? Ignore reality? Absolutely not. It means if your reality is contaminated or polluted, clean it up. Dust it off, scrub it up, or sweep it out.
Whiners and complainers are abundant and we’re all subjected to and vulnerable to them. So on this we must be diligent. No one ever changed anything for the better by whining and/or complaining. Pity parties don’t bring solutions to challenges, either.
This is fact. Not supposition. If you have a challenge or are presented with one, acknowledge it, by all means. But immediately turn your focus on finding a solution.
Challenges typically arise with the subtlety of a fog horn. You don’t have to dwell on them to know they’re there. Dwell instead on the solution. Positive, concrete action that you can take to correct the challenge.
It’s like anything broken. You do what you can to fix it. If it can’t be fixed, you accept it. If forgiveness is required, you give or receive it (if it’s offered, if not, accept that, too). And then you press on.
Remember, you can change a negative into a positive. Identify the negative. Determine what you must to make it a positive. Then take the necessary action to effect the change.
That last part--ACTION--is where many of us get lazy or hesitant or resistant. Without taking the necessary action, we’re in for more of the same. That’s the bottom line.
A positive environment is one that fosters what you want fostered to create the life and quality of life you want.
Think of it this way: you’re an orchid. Capable of incredible beauty and inspiration--being a blessing. Now you have a choice to make. You can live in a hot house, out in the cold, or in a healthy environment.
In which do you think you can best embrace beauty and inspire?
That brings us to detaching and attracting, which I’ll cover next time in Part 9 of MISTAKES WE MAKE.
Blessings,
Vicki
©2007, Vicki Hinze
We’re curious creatures. We listen to others and can tell them exactly what they need. We can watch world events, and we know what needs to be done. We can home in on what we’re told in even the most complicated of challenges and come up with solutions in a snap. And yet we often don’t give ourselves the focus we give those things to determine a very important thing that impacts us in every way on every level: what we need.
The result is that we become walking wounded. We hobble and limp through life never feeling quite content or fulfilled or (dare I say it) happy.
The thing is all of that and more is there for us. But we have to choose to embrace it. On the surface we want those things, and if someone asked, we’d say of course we do, and yet we don’t determine first, what is lacking or out of balance in our lives that prevents us from having those things and we don’t take action to fix it. Often we do plenty of complaining about what’s wrong, but we don’t define the source.
That’s a huge mistake that has far reaching consequences. Fortunately, it is one we can fix. We need only choose to and to determine what we need.
Well, duh, I hear you saying. If we knew how to determine it, we would. (See I have been here, too. :)) Here are a few givens to consider:
THINGS WE NEED
1. WE NEED A POSITIVE ENVIRONMENT.
There is no way to measure accurately all that is created from a positive or negative environment. It is safe to say that because of those silent triggers that set off other reactions in us, there will be a substantial impact on things we expect and on those we didn’t and really can’t expect until they happen.
What we can know definitively is that it’s hell being around negativity. Something always being wrong, nothing but doom and gloom can suck the life right out of you. How can you be excited or enthused, focusing on loving anything including your life and work if all you hear is negative comments?
Bringing this to a personal level, I once overheard a woman commenting to another at a wake, which in the south, is a time people come to the funeral home to pay their respects to the family and/or departed, before the actual funeral. Anyway, I was at this wake and I heard one woman tell another that she was sure the deceased willed himself to die to get away from his bitching wife.
I was twelve years old, and I’ve never forgotten it--and don’t nag my darling husband because of it! Often over the years, it has made me think, and whenever I encounter someone who is extremely negative I think of this. If I can help the person become more positive, I do. If not, I get away from that negative person and that situation.
Developing a “go down that road if you choose, but I’m not going with you” attitude is a healthy one. It’s difficult if not impossible to attract healthy, positive things when you’re in a negative environment.
Be selective about those with whom you associate. Friends and associates at work, all of those in your circle. Don’t feed your fears and doubts with negative thinking or actions. Things like jealousy, peer pressure, greed, the fear of there not being enough (there is always enough good for everyone; honest!)--will drag you down. Will suck you in until your view is as contaminated and polluted as that of those in your environment.
Does that mean you play Pollyanna? Ignore reality? Absolutely not. It means if your reality is contaminated or polluted, clean it up. Dust it off, scrub it up, or sweep it out.
Whiners and complainers are abundant and we’re all subjected to and vulnerable to them. So on this we must be diligent. No one ever changed anything for the better by whining and/or complaining. Pity parties don’t bring solutions to challenges, either.
This is fact. Not supposition. If you have a challenge or are presented with one, acknowledge it, by all means. But immediately turn your focus on finding a solution.
Challenges typically arise with the subtlety of a fog horn. You don’t have to dwell on them to know they’re there. Dwell instead on the solution. Positive, concrete action that you can take to correct the challenge.
It’s like anything broken. You do what you can to fix it. If it can’t be fixed, you accept it. If forgiveness is required, you give or receive it (if it’s offered, if not, accept that, too). And then you press on.
Remember, you can change a negative into a positive. Identify the negative. Determine what you must to make it a positive. Then take the necessary action to effect the change.
That last part--ACTION--is where many of us get lazy or hesitant or resistant. Without taking the necessary action, we’re in for more of the same. That’s the bottom line.
A positive environment is one that fosters what you want fostered to create the life and quality of life you want.
Think of it this way: you’re an orchid. Capable of incredible beauty and inspiration--being a blessing. Now you have a choice to make. You can live in a hot house, out in the cold, or in a healthy environment.
In which do you think you can best embrace beauty and inspire?
That brings us to detaching and attracting, which I’ll cover next time in Part 9 of MISTAKES WE MAKE.
Blessings,
Vicki
©2007, Vicki Hinze
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